I need your help, Xangans.
I was never a real football fan until I started following the Panthers. I couldn't get into the NBA until I found the Celtics. With the exception of college basketball, in which every game from Dook-Carolina to Austin Peay-UTEP enthralls me, I could never care sufficiently about a sport until I had a team to cheer for.

I think this is my problem with baseball. Right now I find going to games in person a mildly entertaining diversion, but watching them on television is nearly impossible. So much of the game is spent standing around, chewing tobacco, giving hand signals. And those times when the pitcher keeps trying to get the man at first and he will absolutely do nothing else OH MY GOD WILL YOU PITCH THE DAMNED BALL ALREADY THIS INNING IS ALREADY TWENTY MINUTES IN. I can't enjoy it properly because I don't have a team.

Now my mother is a Red Sox fan and my father is a Cubs fan. I'm immediately rejecting these two because I want a team of my own. In the same vein I cannot be a Phillies fan because all my relatives are and because Philadelphia sports fans annoy the ever-loving shit out of me. I also hate the Yankees, for no particular reason except I just don't like them, so they're out too.

Because I hate both the Yankees and Phillies, because it will annoy my relatives, because I like the logo (a big factor for me) and because my hero Jon Stewart is one, I am strongly inclined to become a Mets fan.



Yeah, I could see that.

For reasons too complicated to explain here, I think I could also be a Rockies fan.



Why not? I became a Panthers fan on less ground.

I'm not positive though. I do want to make a decision by next Spring, to see if having a team to call my own makes me give a damn about baseball at least a little bit. Given that it's the only major sport going on in mid-summer once the NBA finals are over but before NFL training camp, it would be nice to have- then I'd have a significant sport in my life all 12 months of the year.

I know there must be lots of you baseball fans out there. So I'm asking you- convince me! Should I be a Mets fan? A Rockies fan? Some other team altogether? Who do YOU love and why should I love them also? Be persuasive! And maybe hit this with a rec if you're super nice so I can get a variety of responses. :)

It's five days till Carolina's homecoming. They make up for having it ridiculously later than any other school's by (at last!) making the game meaningful (football vs. Dook on Saturday afternoon). This will be my first-ever Dook football game, because in previous years they always held it over Thanksgiving break. (The conversation I imagine took place in the athletic office: "You know what, Harry, I don't think we're screwing the students over enough with the basketball ticket policy. Let's make the rivalry football game over Thanksgiving when they all get kicked out of their dorms and are forced to go home. Ha ha ha!" Then they light their cigars with flaming Nike revenue checks. But I digress.)

It being that time of year, the Pit is absolutely jam-packed with girls holding signs and shouting at passers-by to vote for their best friend/sorority sister for Homecoming Queen. There must be at least ten candidates this year, and at least 50 annoying girls blocking up the main campus thoroughfare. As if their efforts are really going to make a difference.

The idea behind Homecoming Queen is that in order to be nominated, a girl has to have undertaken some massive community-service project. I guess they did this to make it less of a popularity contest and more merit-based. In a school of so many people, most of the underclassmen have no idea who the candidates are, have never met them, could care less. This way you can vote for which project you think is best, instead of the girl herself.

What they fail to take into account is the fact that no one gives a damn enough to vote. What does being Homecoming Queen really signify? You get trotted out at halftime, someone puts a plastic tiara on your head and gives you a sash and some roses, and then that's it. You are never heard from again. Yes, it is recognition for your service efforts, but if you are doing meaningful community service, the project itself should be its own reward. If you're only doing it so you can become Queen, that's rather hollow of you. The most deserving Homecoming Queen, paradoxically, is someone too humble to submit herself. She is probably sitting quietly in a small off-campus apartment right now, reading about the plight of women in third-world countries. She's the one who deserves the stupid plastic tiara and all the applause, but she knows that it is ultimately meaningless and distances herself from the process altogether.

Since most people realize that it's an empty title and skip voting, the end result is to make it a popularity contest all over again, since the girl with the most friends willing to vote for her will end up winning. So at halftime this Saturday, I'm going to go buy a Coke and an overpriced sandwich, thank you very much. If ever a girl can make the sodas at the stadium cost under $3, then I will vote for her for sure, but not before.

Oh yeah, there's a Homecoming King too, but there aren't a hundred guys out campaigning in the pit, because guys have the sense to realize how dumb that is.

And I got the pictures to prove it!



Y'ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?

Cause I have! :)

I don't like Lady Gaga. Or rather, I don't much care for her music. I do enjoy her funktastic outfits. But I'm straying from the point.

The point being that if you have not watched the new South Park that was just on, you really should. Because Cartman sings Poker Face, and it is priceless.

There isn't anything more to it. I just felt like I should inform any of you who are unawares. Because I probably startled half the floor with my laughing.

Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read-a my poker face...

AHAHA THE VIDEO IS UP... WIN
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/254171

Summer is hot and tumultuous and the only time you can reasonably swim in the ocean, my all-time favorite thing to do.
Winter brings us snow, snowball fights, hot cocoa, Christmas presents and Christmas tv specials, and New Years Twilight Zone marathons.
In spring the days get longer and longer, an NCAA champion is crowned, and the NFL draft happens, giving Mel Kiper tons of money for his stupid predictions that won't matter in 6 months anyway. I want to write a book called "Mel Kiper is a douchebag and an idiot" with Tom Brady's picture on the cover. That's neither here nor there though.

But what is fall good for? Everything dies. The days get shorter and colder. If you don't have a winning football team to watch, there is almost nothing worth living for. What a miserable time of year this is. Now I think maybe I understand why Target has had their Christmas displays up for a month now. If we could we'd skip all of fall and go straight to the day after Thanksgiving.

Just two more months just two more months just two more months

Which season do you enjoy the least?