Monday, 20 April 2009

• cute/hot/beautiful

  For the record, I sincerely hope this post does not end up on datingish or lovelyish or any of the ishes. I don't like to be categorized. (Unless there was ever a Carolinaish, but on the day Xanga becomes that individuated I'll run screaming into the night.)
  
  For some reason I've been listening to the new Flo Rida song, Right Round, a whole lot lately. Normally pop music and I do not get along, so I've been thinking about why this particular musical interlude appeals to me, especially since it is pretty dirty, though not nearly as overtly vulgar as some other things I could come up with off the top of my head. I've concluded that besides being a ripoff of the original You Spin Me Round (one of my favorite 80s cheese classics), it's something in the chorus, the 'ain't nothin' more beautiful to be found' part, that agrees with me. That got me to thinking, so hence the next part.
  
  As a girl, and especially as a girl who happens to know Scott, I have been called cute plenty of times. Why, he went off on some of his Riddler-esque hyperbole just this morning. And part of me does appreciate it. But at the same time, the overuse of Cute can get a little tedious. Every word has an implication. The implication of Cute is something juvenile, naive, still growing. Kittens are cute. Puppies are cute. Babies are cute. Babies also drool regularly, spit up their food and babble instead of talking. Now we are in college, so I can appreciate that this is also the behavior of a drunk person, but I've only been drunk once, and I didn't go that far, thank you. Being called Cute is like hearing "you have the potential to be attractive, but you aren't quite there yet," or at least it's that way to me.
  
  Now I have never been called Hot, probably because I'm not, but part of me hopes I never will be called that. Hot has a different implication. Hot means "your hair is awesome, your body is amazing, your clothes maybe reveal just a bit more than they should." Hot is a shallow thing, to me. Hot is related to lust, and is therefore transient, fleeting, and temporary. Hot has everything to do with the look of the moment and nothing to do with what kind of person you really are. People who base relationships off hotness are doomed to failure. If someone is hot but totally vapid or a complete asshole, it isn't going to work, and if you're lucky enough to find a hot person who is also intelligent and good-humored, I would argue that their hotness is the lesser trait.
  
  That brings us to Beautiful. I have been called Beautiful once, at the beginning of last semester, and it was very touching. Ask a girl which of these three words she would like most to be, and I'll bet the majority will say Beautiful. Beauty implies not only loveliness but also a maturity that doesn't come with Cute and a depth that isn't part of Hot. Beautiful is the most complete of the three words and carries the most respect. Boys, if you think a girl is truly Beautiful, for gods sake tell her so. She will remember it. I was only called Beautiful offhand, in passing, and that was months and months ago. But I still remember the exact circumstances of that evening, which might otherwise have vanished from memory.
  
  Don't OVERuse it, to be sure- all words start to lose meaning when said all the time. But don't be afraid of it, either. And if you want a little cheat-sheet, guys, just remember this: most girls are okay with being cute, and some are happy to be hot, but I challenge you to find any woman anywhere who doesn't want to be thought of as Beautiful.

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